Spiritual Guidance Blog by Sedona Healer Cynthia TierraSpiritual Guidance posted by Sedona Healer and Sedona Reiki Master Teacher, Cynthia Tierra of Healing From The Heart in Sedona Arizona about how to avoid arguing.
How To Avoid An Argument Before It Starts September 14, 2018
As a spiritual healer in Sedona, I see many people who are concerned about their relationships and are upset when they have been in arguments. Spiritual healing involves going deep within and can bring forth unpleasant feelings and memories connected to past responses to arguments. To avoid an argument before it starts, don’t participate. This may sound obvious, but it isn’t. Otherwise we would never argue. Most arguments involve personality conflicts. Both personalities involved in the argument feel they have something to gain or lose in the outcome; someone must win and someone must lose. In reality, all arguments are losing situations.
Arguments create a loss of peacefulness and harmony. When people argue, an exchange of negative energy occurs. For some people, arguing is the primary method they connect with others. Sometimes, a person becomes an argument magnet, seeking out and attracting conflict because arguing gives them an artificial sense of power. Argumentative people may appear confident, but in reality they are feeling powerless. They do not recognize that power is internal, not external. Rather than working within themselves to understand their emotions, argumentative people seek gratification from proving they are right .A balanced person can choose not to participate in an argument. Emotionally balanced people have no purpose in arguing since balanced people are connected with their own personal power of love. Being at peace with oneself in a loving space eliminates the need for personality conflicts. Personality conflicts come from a need for control, which originates from non-loving emotions.
Every parent remembers the developmental stage labeled the terrible twos. This is the age when children throw tantrums and their favorite word is NO. During this developmental stage, children assert their power in an environment where they feel powerless. Adults control the lives of two-year-olds. Yet, an argumentative two-year-old can bring the lives of the adults around him or her to a temporary standstill. The next time someone attempts to argue with you, consider that this person is like an unreasonable two-year-old trying to assert power. Argumentative people usually feel a need for control. You have no control over the emotions of other people, who choose to argue with you. You can control your responses in confrontational situations.
Whenever you are tempted to argue with another person, stop and reflect inward. Ask yourself why this issue is so important to you. Where is your anger coming from? Why are your emotions surfacing? The other person has triggered a response in you. You can choose how you will react to this response. Most people who argue are focusing on the other person, rather than themselves. Potential arguments offer you a golden opportunity to learn about yourself.
When another person triggers an emotional response in you, this reaction comes from memories of past experiences that are surfacing in the present. These memories of past events and experiences dredge up unresolved emotional issues. Dredging up of old emotions is an automatic response. Automatic responses that originate in the past do not belong in the present. Acknowledge that other people trigger your emotional responses, but admit to yourself that these responses belong to you. Ask the Loving Universe to help you move with your emotion into a loving space in the present moment. By choosing not to be emotionally dragged into the past, you are choosing to be loving in the present. Feel love for the adult, who acts like a two-year-old in order to gain a false sense of power. Remind yourself that the most powerful force in the world is love. All it takes to avoid an argument before it starts, is love and self-understanding.
©2018 Cynthia Tierra Healing From The Heart Sedona AZ All Rights ReservedCynthia Tierra – Sedona Healer and Sedona Reiki Master Teacher, works with the whole person to eliminate pain, illness, and stress by identifying and releasing the underlying causes. She offers spiritual healing and intuitive reading. Contact her at Healing from The Heart (928) 821-0989